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13 March 2017

did you really just say that?





I try really hard to be a nice person. Not that I'm not already, it's more of just remembering that some things are better left unsaid + the old adage - if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all. 

Becoming a mom both tamed my tongue but also brought forward the most ridiculous comments/questions I've ever heard. Sometimes I just look at people with RBF. Others I am nicer + just respond. Let's see: 

"you know he needs a sibling soon, right?"
Oh, really? I just thought that I could get him a popsicle stick + he'd be happy. 

"are you trying for number two yet?" 
meh. we're skipping 2 and getting 5. thanks for asking. 

"when are you trying for the next one?" 
When the first sun meets the eighth moon under the stars of Andromeda and the Star Spangled Banner. 

"are you trying for a girl?"
Nope. A pterodactyl actually. We think it will add to our dynamic as a family. 
What do you say? 

"what are you?"
I'm part alien, 1/3 t-rex, 22% whale +.75 seagull. 

"No, I mean like, where are you from?" 
Well, shit. We're going there, aren't we... 
We'll part of me came from my dad... the other part from my mom. But since we're getting technical, my mom's vagina  (sorry mom) is where I came from. Whaddya know?!

"are you afraid that since you're staying home with him, he won't know how to behave with other people/children?"
First of all, thank you for questioning my parenting. You can't get anything friendlier than that. You da best. And no, I'm actually really excited for Xander to charge into people like he's a rhinoceros we've been practicing for months now. 

"you know you're going to miss this age right?" 
No way! I actually didn't know that. 

"does he sleep through the night?"
Nope. He Glides, Gracefully. 

"Oh but he's so tiny for his age? hopefully, he has a growth spurt." 
"there's no way he's 16 months old, he's too small." 
"Oh, I thought he was younger than that! He's so tiny." 

Fuck, you caught me. I'm teaching him how to lie about his age so he can be the shortest and youngest of his classes and graduate college at 6. 
Completely disregard the fact that I'm quite literally only 30 inches taller than my 16 month old. 

"Do you feed him?" 
Nope. We're teaching him self-sufficiency - unless he finds it, he's not eating. 
Literally, a joke... of course I feed my child. 

"Did you even try to breastfeed him?"
I stopped responding to these. 

Finally, my favorite.. that I, too, was guilty of until I became a parent. 

"Enjoy."


In retrospect, I knew my intentions were well-meaning just like those who tell new parents of a screaming mandrake. But if I knew what I knew today, I'd judo chop myself in the throat for being such an asshole. 

It's hard to enjoy them ALL the time. There is no such thing. They are truly the most testing obstacle an adult with go through. From the lack of sleep to the constant wakings, to opening up the fourth food pouch because he wants that one only for him to not eat it. They will scream for a reason and scream six times harder for no reason. They will scale the wall unit and scream for help because well, they can't get the fuck down and how dare you not tell them for the 8th time that they just can't do that. 

That is NOT to say I don't enjoy motherhood. It is my biggest accomplishment. It is what I've dreamed of doing, and I will NEVER take it for granted but for the love of all that is holy... it is NOT easy, and it isn't something to enjoy every second of. 

What are some of the things you've heard as a parent? 


10 March 2017

A Mom's Night In






Having a child worried me. I was afraid to lose my self-pampering sessions at night. Before I got pregnant my nighttime unwind routine was essential. I hardly ever strayed. All I wanted to do was come home, cook a healthy dinner, take off my bra, and enjoy a nice hot bubble bath with a glass of wine, a book, and a good face mask.
 
I continued my bath routine throughout the entire pregnancy. After I had her, when they told me I wasn't allowed in a bath for 6 weeks, I wanted to scream. So instead for those 6 weeks, I researched the best products to create the most luxurious nighttime routine on a budget while raising a newborn. I finally found the key! My key products are affordable and make me feel like a princess. Mommas' deserve some pampering too. After all, we aren't just endless feeding machines.
 
1. My favorite cleansing oil: Burts Bees Facial Cleansing Oil: 15.99 at Target and often on sale using cartwheel and manufacturers coupons!
  
 Using a cleansing oil has kept my face moisturized and pimple free. I love that the cleansing oil goes on my skin with all the makeup, no prior washing needed! For me removing a simple step such as wetting my face before a cleanser gives me a few extra moments soaking in a hot bath.

2. My favorite mask: L'Oreal Paris Detox & Brighten Pure-Clay Mask: 7.99 at Target and often on sale with coupons! 
  
This mask is perfect. You place the cold clay on your face and wait about 15 minutes for it to dry. When the mask dries completely, it makes it hard to talk which is highly entertaining for me. I often place this mask on right before I jump into my luxurious bath.

3. Bath bombs: Lush

For anyone who knows me, a bath is not complete without a Lush bath bomb. I never use the entire one, though. Instead, I break them up into pieces and by doing this one bomb can last up to 5 baths! I love all their bath bombs and usually just choose them based on their smell!

My one recommendation to ensuring that your mom night in is enjoyable is to make sure that your little one is taken care of our occupied for 20-30 minutes. My significant other knows that I need this time to myself, so he will often read to little Harley while I enjoy my peace. 

Momma's always remember you are beautiful and loved. And to be the best version of yourself, sometimes we have to take a little time to enjoy ourselves without the little one present.



Who Is Stephanie?

Hello, my name is Stephanie. I am a 23-year-old new mommy and a full-time nursing student! Harley was born on November 30th, 2016 and, boy,has she taught us a lot about life. We have struggled with colic and are hopefully outgrowing it soon! Being a mother has been more than I could ever ask for. I am so excited to watch her grow and thrive. Being a mom has taught me to enjoy each little moment and to simplify my life and slow down. This blog has been a way for me to document my trials of conquering motherhood, nursing school, and being a good significant other!